Going home for family events can be trying, even when you love most of the family, but when faced with a significant family gathering where you know there will be friction…planning for the worst is not a bad idea.
Sometimes, planning for the worst-case scenario – knowing that you are prepared in advance – can make getting through the event easier.
So, what planning do I recommend? Simple…plan your exit strategy ahead of time.
Ok, yes, this may sound a little extreme to some of you, but trust me when I say that knowing you have a way out can sometimes make staying easier because you won’t feel trapped.
Here are some tips to help you plan:
1) Reach out to a friend in town and see if they can let you crash on their couch if the situation becomes unbearable.
2) If possible, have your transportation. Rent a car, using the excuse that you would like to visit some old friends while in town. At worst – make sure you have the number of the local cab service and enough cash to get to your friend’s house – or a local motel.
3) My personal favorite: stay at a local motel/hotel because you need high-speed internet access for your business. Yes, it may be the holidays, but you like to stay on top of things in case of ‘technical’ issues. And yes, this may cause some grumbling, but if you phrase it right, they can tell everyone that you are working too hard and make it sound like they are proud of you instead of ticked off, which they are. It makes your exit after dinner so much easier and less hostile.
The nice part about staying at the hotel is that it also gives you some breathing space and makes the rest of the time easier to endure. Throw in a nice massage or spa treatment, and things suddenly seem more positive. Or go work out the frustrations at the hotel gym. Either way, it’s much easier to deal with that today, Cousin Ralph.
4) Have a friend call at a pre-arranged time: this tried and true ‘blind date’ strategy can also be a lifesaver for family events! Have a good and trusted friend – preferably one the family does not know and so will not recognize the number on your caller ID – call to see how things are going. You can then determine the next course of action based on your current situation.
5) Go to bed early. Sometimes, simply pleading turkey coma, oncoming cold, or jet lag to escape may be enough to sidestep any unpleasantness. Start fresh the following day, when everyone is rested and sober, and start over.
Whether you use it or not, having an exit strategy in your back pocket takes some of the pressure off. Instead of having to survive those three days, you know that you have a way out if you need it.
And who knows? Maybe THIS time, it will be a great visit. When it comes to family…Hope springs eternal.
