The Velveteen Rabbit
“By the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real, you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.” (Williams, 2005, p. 17). Today was a day, not a great day, not a horrible day, but a rough day. This morning when grabbing Seraphina from her room, it was a wreck like normal. (She is two and has a toddler bed; she is able to come to my room and her older brother’s room when she gets up. For the most part, she ends up playing with her toys.) This morning she grabbed all her books from her bookshelf. She took her copy of The Velveteen Rabbit and ripped the jacket to shreds. My first reaction was anger. I grabbed the pieces showing them to her, “You can’t rip up your books, you hurt your books!” I was annoyed; this was an unnecessary mess, this will cost me money to get a new book, and I was sad just because I love books. My son popped his head in right mid-tirade and Seraphina started crying and ran to his leg. Oh great now I am a monster too. He laughs and shakes his head and starts picking toys up off the floor. When I get to the books and start placing them back on the shelf I find The Velveteen Rabbit. She only got the book jacket, not the book. Whoo.. Now the guilt rolls in. I bring the book with me downstairs. After breakfast, I put Seraphina on my lap and read her The Velveteen Rabbit. The classic children’s book The Velveteen Rabbit follows the life of a stuffed bunny, made of inexpensive fabric and filled with sawdust. The bunny arrives in a well-to-do little boy’s nursery. Alongside more expensive toys, the bunny feels naturally shy and insecure. The bunny longed to fit in with his peers. Actually, he hoped to become special to the boy. Abandoned after the excitement of Christmas, the rabbit befriends the wise old rocking horse. He explains to the rabbit that the boy will eventually love him and make him real. One day, Rabbit and Rocking Horse engaged in a conversation. “What is real?” Rabbit asked. “Does it mean having things buzz inside you and having a stick-out handle?” The rocking horse replied, “Real isn’t how you are made, it’s a thing that happens to you when a child loves you for a long, long time. Not just to play with, but to really love you. Then you will become real.” Rabbit, “Does it hurt?” Rocking Horse replied honestly,” Sometimes, for when you are real, you don’t mind being hurt.” Rabbit asked more of being real, “Does it happen all at once like when you are wound up, or bit by bit?” Rocking Horse, “It doesn’t happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or must be safely kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are real, except to people who don’t understand.” Rabbit, “I suppose you are real.” Rocking Horse smiled. “The boy’s uncle made me real. Once you a real, you can’t become unreal again.” Rabbit wished aloud that he could become real without these unpleasant things happening to them, to which Rocking Horse Replied, “When you are real, shabbiness doesn’t matter.” As the story goes, the horse is right, The Velveteen Rabbit is selected to keep the boy safe and secure during a serious illness. A special bond develops between the boy and the rabbit. Along with the experiences the two share together, the rabbit transforms from a toy to something the rocking horse calls “real.” The rocking horse claims that real is what happens when you become your true self, not a contrived, shiny, pretend thing, and are loved despite, and maybe even because of, your imperfections. The Velveteen Rabbit is much more than a children’s tale, it is a classic metaphor. This story has the power to provoke our deepest desires, inspire reflection and remind us of the basic truths in life. From one vantage point, The Velveteen Rabbit appears as just a tale for children, a story that brings to mind beloved toys and childhood dreams. But if we shift our view just a bit, we can see that the words hold truth and meaning for children of all ages, young and young-at-heart. A further shift and the Velveteen Rabbit himself is able to explain the intricacies of our own life, our own truths. In The Velveteen Rabbit, the real wake-up call is called being real. Being real is truly being yourself and not a version of something you think you are supposed to be. In my coaching I call this, living my authentic life. This theory is based on our own individuality. Being real is different for everyone. Whether speaking about living an authentic life, living the coaching lifestyle or being real, one thing is the same. We are all striving for a feeling of happiness and contentment. We are always looking for work that is engaging, relationships that feel satisfying and genuine love so we never feel alone in this world. Just like the book, once you are real, you know that everything you say and do matters to others. It helps you understand sadness and happiness. You will want to help ease others’ sadness and bring happiness to your loved ones. It helps you strive to leave your mark on this earth. In the book, the Velveteen Principles, Toni Raiten-D’Antonio lists 12 principles. Real is Possible- Being real is a
